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Robert Bright

Nickname Big Rab
Date Of Birth 15/5/68
Place Of Birth Edinburgh
Big Team Hearts
Wee Team Barcelona
Favourite Player Ever John Robertson
Position He says centre forward - everyone else says centre half!
Distinguishing Features Turning circle of the 'Queen Mary', ability to peer into first floor windows without the use of a ladder
Lookalike Former Falkirk defender Crawford Baptie or Hugh Dennis out of 'Mock The Week'
Battlecry 'Cover me!'
Claim To Fame

Founding member of the Group of Port (Legendary), an occult sporting fraternity so shrouded in mystery that even Dan Brown doesn't have a Scooby


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